five & six

Six. Where did six years go? Too fast I think...

My baby is five. This precious little face is five. Oh my.

These two keep me on my toes. They test my patience. They make me laugh. They make cry out of joy and out of frustration. They are best friends. They are partners in crime. They are 2 big parts of my heart that are outside of my body. I can't imagine loving my kids more. I don't think it is possible. Sometimes I ask God why he would bless me with such an amazing family. I don't deserve it. I don't deserve any of it, but I am grateful for His divine grace, His unfathomable love for me, and for His incredible blessings.

distractions

Homeschooling is hard. I have 3 kids that are 3 different ages and have 3 totally different personalities and learning styles. My eldest is very smart, a born learner, and is really "into" certain things like war, history, the military, science, you know...tough boy stuff. My daughter is very bright but it takes her a little longer to get certain concepts. Just when we got over the handwriting-is-making-me-want-to-rip-my-hair-out hurdle, we began the learning-to-read-is-going-to-be-the-death-of-me stage. She is not patient (I have no clue where she gets it...*ahem...*cough...*cough...) and when she doesn't get something right, and have to correct her, she isn't very happy. Constructive criticism is not in her wheelhouse. Just when I thought that we would never see the light, it clicked for her. Her painstaking sounding out each letter turned into blended sounds and is slowly progressing into, like, really reading! Do you hear that? Yes, indeed, there are angels singing. Maybe that is just in my head. Anywho... I pulled out a Dr. Seuss book today, flipped through the pages, and KNEW she would fly through it. However, she wasn't having any of it. She didn't want to read. She was over it. I blame it on lack of sleep. It definitley couldn't be that she is strong-willed. I don't know where she would get that either....mmmmhmmmm. Bless her heart. She's just like her momma. My littlest one is only 4 so we don't really homeschool, but we DO do (sorry, I really tried to avoid the "do do") "school". It is school to him. He is eager, does very well, is very intelligent, but I have to duct tape him to the chair to get him to sit still long enough to do anything. That boy needs to have his DNA bottled up and sold because his energy is off the charts! (I would have said off the chain, but I am 35 and it just didn't sound right...fo' shizzle.)

My biggest challenge is getting them to actually work. We have figured out that the schoolroom (you know, the really cute one that I worked sooooo hard on???) doesn't work for us. Desks don't work for us. We end up homeschooling wherever we land, which is usually at the kitchen table because I am constantly preparing meals, eating meals or cleaning up after meals. It works out best for us (and about 99% of other homeschooling families from what I am hearing).
Getting them to focus is a huge issue. My eldest wants to watch my daughter and cheer her on (or boss her around......whatever...) and my daughter wants to chit chat...again, like someone else I know.

Anyone have any suggestions? Aside from duct taping their mouths shut, shackling them to the chair and putting on horse blinders, I don't have any other plan of attack. Splitting them up doesn't work because their mind's wander and they get distracted by every little thing when I'm not monitoring them. Here are a list of things that they get distracted by: flies, the texture of the wall, light fixtures, the glare of the sun on the glass, their pencil erasers, their pencils, the lead on their pencils, the crumb from this morning's toast that is 12 feet away on the floor, the bunnies outside, our dogs outside, the blades of grass outside, the birds outside, the noise they think they heard outside, the hum of the refrigerator inside, their eyelids, the hair in the brush in the other room, etc. etc. etc....

Comments? Suggestions? Beuller? Beuller?

time

Oh my...
What I wouldn't give for more of it. I say that, but know that more time would just mean more I could attempt to pack into a day already packed to the gills. I once gave advice to a friend that I need to take myself...spend time with the Lord in the morning, give him your day and all of the "stuff" you need to get done (and I mean REALLY release it), and the things that don't matter will fall away. The things that are truly important, will get done. The laundry might pile up and the baseboards might have to stay coated with an inch of dust, but your kids will remember that you played baseball with them in the front yard. You might have cereal for dinner, but you got to spend an extra 30 minutes with your family instead of scrubbing the dishes. You might not be able to watch that t.v. show that you need to "catch up on", but that extra 30 minutes snuggling with your kids on the couch or riding bikes around the block are more important anyway.


At least, that's what I say. I didn't say that I DO it. Sometimes it takes me being up at 1:00 AM and going into my daughter's room and sitting on her bed watching her sleep to be reminded of this. My perfectionism is an anchor. My guilt of not being perfect (or at least my vision of perfect) weighs on me a lot. I often fear that it makes me too demanding of my kids. When I do that, I end up taking on more so my kids can be, well, kids. Then I get frustrated because I feel as though I am doing it all by myself. I find it hard to find balance in my life. I want a tidy house, but I find it impossible with 3 young homeschooled kids. We are here all day, so we make messes all day. I want to plan my lessons ahead and be prepared, but find that doing so leads to frustration because we have to make so many adjustments throughout the week for things that we get done quickly, things that take extra time, or things that we simply don't get done at all. Then I panic and worry that I am not doing enough. I know...the beauty of homeschooling is that you can go at your own pace, but I can't help but feel the pressure when I know that what we do or don't do ultimately rests on my (tense) shoulders.
When you are a homeschooling mom, life is different. Your "you" time is something of the past. It is all kids, all the time. Your house is rarely, if ever, clean. You become a master at juggling things: throw in a load of laundry, give kid #1 directions, clean the dishes, answer kid #2's question, give kid #1 directions AGAIN, go find what kid #3 is doing, clean up after kid #3 because he decided to "decorate himself" with markers, then kid #2 needs help on their assignment and the doorbell rings, and "no thank you, I don't want any magazine subscriptions", and kid #1 is gone from the table. Oh yeah, he got done with his assignment and took it upon himself to turn on the tv. Hey, turn that thing off...we aren't done yet! #2, you get back over here too, you haven't even finished the first page...and WHY is it taking an hour to do 3 lines of handwriting?
Aren't you jealous? Seriously, I love homeschooling. That doesn't mean it is easy. It doesn't mean we don't struggle. It doesn't mean we don't school until 6 PM sometimes. It does mean that my house is often a wreck, dinner sometimes doesn't even get considered until tummies are rumbling, and sheets are sometimes still in the dryer at bedtime.

Then there are days where everything goes smoothly...and do you know what? Those are the days that I heed my own advice and give it all to the Lord. All of it. The to-do's and the things that can wait. He sorts them out better than I do anyway.

Homeschooling is not for the weak.

(Sweet daughter, I feel your pain. More than you know.)

Everyone keeps asking me how homeschooling is going, so I thought I would update all of my fans, um I mean friends (hee hee).

It is awesome (and by awesome I mean fulfilling, fun, frustrating, and hard) I am no fool. I knew that homeschooling wouldn't be all field trips and projects and walking hand-in-hand through the flowers whilst reciting William Shakespeare, and then sitting down for a lovely picnic of homemade jams and tarts. I am laughing as I am typing this because it is so far from that it isn't funny...well, it actually is, that is why I am laughing. Aaaaaanywho...

It is wonderful that I get to spend all day, every day with my kids (I know you are laughing, but I really do like my kids most of the time) and that I am in complete control of what we do, but that also means that I am under a lot of pressure to keep us on track. On days when it is cold and rainy and all we want to do is stay in our p.j.s, snuggle on the couch with hot chocolate and watch Phineus and Ferb (one of my, um, I mean the kids' favorite shows), it is really tough to do chores, sit and work on handwriting (I'll talk more about the dreaded and throughly despised handwriting later) and other subjects. We usually do stay in our p.j.s though so, duh - WINNING!

I am sure it will be even more difficult when we get our 2 weeks of bearable weather in May between the floods of April and the skin melting heat of the summer.

Okay, so I am going to follow a rabbit trail about handwriting. Oh dear Lord in heaven I have never wanted Jesus to return so badly than when I am in the full on hair-ripping-out process of handwriting with my daughter. I still don't understand WHY it is so hard. I can't comprehend WHY I get so frustrated. Sidebar: Don't ever, ever, ever, no matter how tempted you are, pray for patience because the Lord WILL bombard you with opportunities to grow in this virtue.

Okay, back to handwriting. Yes, I am doing a full on handwriting curriculum with my kids. I think that the written word has become a lost art. With texting and e-mail and all of the social networking that we have at our disposal, we just LOL and LMBO and TTYL each other all day. Some of the acronyms are so confusing too. I find myself going to the Urban Dictionary (oh yes, there is such a thing) to figure out what everyone is saying. I guess that means I am old. That and the fact that loud music gets on my last nerve now. You know, back in my day...oh wait...nevermind.

So, as I was saying, the written word is a lost art. Lots of parents who homeschool don't do handwriting, but with handwriting, we also incorporate several other subjects. We write scriptures, sentences from our history and literature books, etc. I don't want my kids writing like doctors. No offense to doctors. I am sure some of you have excellent penmanship.

So, for those or you who wondered, and those of you who didn't but were so taken with my thoughts and wit and couldn't pull yourself away from my post, homeschooling is going well. It is frustrating. It is not something out of an Emily Bronte novel. In fact, sometimes it is something out of a Stephen King novel. It is wonderful, however, to be able to go the coffee shop in the middle of the day to do our history lesson, or have lunch as a family. It is comforting to know that my children are learning about our world as one that has a Creator...a loving and caring Creator. It makes me happy to know that I am learning my children's strengths and weaknesses and am able to speak to them within the framework of the curriculum that I have chosen. So, I am off to take my Valium and finish our school day. (Just kidding about the Valium...it is Xanax. I am allergic to Valium.) ;) <--- And that is a smiley face for those of you who don't text. LOL! Ha ha ha!

Why I homeschool...

Well, we are officially homeschooling.

Holy freakin cow.

I am excited and a little anxious...a lot anxious.

The whole fate of my 3 munchkin's education rests solely on my shoulders...no pressure.

Gulp...

Anywho, I'll start with a complicated answer to a simply question that I continue to get..."Why are you homeschooling".

Well, here goes...

First of all, I don't hate public schools. I love our school system. I do think that the public education system is broken, however. I am incredibly grateful for the teachers that my children have had. They are phenomenal and I feel very blessed to have had each and every one of them. We have prayed every year for our teachers, and we have had amazing ones.

Secondly, I want my children to have a faith-based education. That is something that public schools simply do not provide.

Next, I have a child who is of above average intelligence. I am not bragging, it is truth. He began reading at 2 years of age. He understands the concepts of physics better than I do (and I am a former science teacher). He remembers EVERYTHING. Literally. I think he has a photographic memory. He could, and did, read entire books at school in one day. He has a love (almost an obsession) with history, the military, engineering, and science. He simply cannot get enough. I feel as though God has given him a wonderful mind, and that He has laid it upon my heart to foster that as much as possible. I have the desire and I have the ability, so why not?

More than anything, I have the opportunity to introduce concepts and information to my children at the time, and in the way that I feel, as a parent, is appropriate, and that I can be the final authority in all areas of their lives. As parents, we have a very short window to have the greatest influence in our children's lives as they are learning about the world and society that they live in, and I feel as though it is my calling to be the foremost influence in their lives. As parents we love our kids more than anyone, know them better than anyone, and have their best interest at heart more than anyone, so why not be the preeminent figure in their lives to teach, encourage and love on them on a daily basis?

All of that being said, I am certain of several things...homeschooling isn't for everyone. Many people do not have the desire, the calling nor the patience to be home educator. That doesn't make them less of a parent, it makes them normal. Ha! Seriously, I, by no means, feel as though this is the path for everyone. It is what I feel that the Lord has called ME to do.

I also love and admire educators in the private and public sector. They are saints and have jobs that are invaluable to our society. God bless 'em!

Lastly, the hubs and I believe that the Lord has put the call on our hearts to raise Godly children and do the best that we can to instill His incredible love and mercy for us. In this world of, well, worldliness, egocentrism and self-indulgence, among other things, we want to raise our kids to love the Lord first, each other second, and others third. Educating our children at home gives us the opportunity to impress these values upon them while giving them an individualized education. Not a bad plan in my opinion.

Sooo, there ya' go. Just in case you wondered...now, here we go into the great unknown. I'll keep you posted as we will update our homeschooling journey on this blog. Nope, no new one for that, just this one. This will be this Swiss army knife of blogs. Homeschooling, crafting, decorating, and just about anything else that floats my boat.

Here goes nothin'...

Jenn

priorities

I don't know about you, but I find myself constantly questioning myself. I have spoken about Mommy Guilt before. I have it. I have it bad. I feel guilty about everything and about being perfect (or very imperfect) at everything. I know, it is a silly problem, but don't lie and say that you have never felt that way. If you haven't, for real, please message me and I want to meet you and somehow get you to ooze some of your awesomeness on me. Wait, that sounds gross. You know what I mean. Anywho, reading all of the amazing blogs that I follow, makes me feel worse, but I can't help it. I LURVE reading blogs and getting ideas. The problem is, I have all of these amazing ideas in my brain, and I will never get them done. And so the cycle ensues...I feel even worse.

So, bear with me, I am going somewhere. I have really felt burdened that I am not prioritizing my time as the Lord would see fit. I pray constantly for direction on how to budget my time effectively. I pray that, in spite of myself, that I could fit in A-Z in the 18 hours that I am awake. I don't spend enough time with my Father, I don't spend enough quality time with my kids, and I spend too much time worrying about my house being clean, and projects not getting done, and the weeds in my flowerbeds, and the fact that I STILL don't have a garden, and that I have big boxes in my entryway that have been there for weeks, and that I have food going bad in the fridge, and dust on my baseboards, etc.....

I am making a commitment to myself and my family. My house might get messy. The kids might get messy. Dinners might last an hour to make time for conversation and laughing. Baths may last an hour to make time for bubbles. I might not answer emails right away. I might not even turn my computer on. I might leave dishes in the sink overnight and not care (or at least, try not to care).

I am going to spend time with my kids. I am going to really listen to them and do the things that they want to do and not worry about what I am not doing.

So, if you need me, you know where to find me. But I might not be there...so just leave a message. I'll get back to ya'.

changes & being out of pocket

For those of you who take the time to visit ye' ol' blog, I have been a little out of pocket for a while. I will make this short and sweet.

The hubby and I have decided that I need to work for him for a while. We had initially had plans to hire someone (other than myself), but after looking at our budget, there was simply no way we could do it right now. That being said, my help is free, and we are putting the kids in school. I know, two posts ago was my big reveal of our office/homeschool room, so this was a very quick and recent decision. I am heartbroken. Completely heartbroken. However, I know that the Lord is guiding our steps and that this is the best decision (although the hardest) we have had to make in a long time. The past couple of weeks have been spent buying school uniforms, supplies (I mean, do we REALLY need 8 glue sticks & why is there not one single packet of 8x12 construction paper within a 100 mile radius?), lunchboxes and backpacks. So, I haven't been too crafty. I have been trying to wrap by brain around early mornings, and packing lunches, and my babies being away from me 5 days a week, 8 hours a day, and homework, and after school activities that were going to be a welcome addition to our homeschool schedule, but now seem like just one more thing for us "to do" and be away from each other. My only daughter is off to kindergarten. Honestly, I needed a good 3 months to prepare for this one. Oh, and now I am up all night worried about schedules, and meal planning, and when to clean my house, and the responsibilities of my "new job" and when and how that is going to work.

I am smiling, because I refuse to cry. I know that the Lord is in control. I know that he is sovereign, I know that this too shall pass and that we are all going to be fine. Just fine. I know that this season is just that...a season. The kids will love school, my baby will love his preschool, my husband will be gratefull for the much needed help, and I will survive...

just like Gloria...I will survive.