priorities

I don't know about you, but I find myself constantly questioning myself. I have spoken about Mommy Guilt before. I have it. I have it bad. I feel guilty about everything and about being perfect (or very imperfect) at everything. I know, it is a silly problem, but don't lie and say that you have never felt that way. If you haven't, for real, please message me and I want to meet you and somehow get you to ooze some of your awesomeness on me. Wait, that sounds gross. You know what I mean. Anywho, reading all of the amazing blogs that I follow, makes me feel worse, but I can't help it. I LURVE reading blogs and getting ideas. The problem is, I have all of these amazing ideas in my brain, and I will never get them done. And so the cycle ensues...I feel even worse.

So, bear with me, I am going somewhere. I have really felt burdened that I am not prioritizing my time as the Lord would see fit. I pray constantly for direction on how to budget my time effectively. I pray that, in spite of myself, that I could fit in A-Z in the 18 hours that I am awake. I don't spend enough time with my Father, I don't spend enough quality time with my kids, and I spend too much time worrying about my house being clean, and projects not getting done, and the weeds in my flowerbeds, and the fact that I STILL don't have a garden, and that I have big boxes in my entryway that have been there for weeks, and that I have food going bad in the fridge, and dust on my baseboards, etc.....

I am making a commitment to myself and my family. My house might get messy. The kids might get messy. Dinners might last an hour to make time for conversation and laughing. Baths may last an hour to make time for bubbles. I might not answer emails right away. I might not even turn my computer on. I might leave dishes in the sink overnight and not care (or at least, try not to care).

I am going to spend time with my kids. I am going to really listen to them and do the things that they want to do and not worry about what I am not doing.

So, if you need me, you know where to find me. But I might not be there...so just leave a message. I'll get back to ya'.

changes & being out of pocket

For those of you who take the time to visit ye' ol' blog, I have been a little out of pocket for a while. I will make this short and sweet.

The hubby and I have decided that I need to work for him for a while. We had initially had plans to hire someone (other than myself), but after looking at our budget, there was simply no way we could do it right now. That being said, my help is free, and we are putting the kids in school. I know, two posts ago was my big reveal of our office/homeschool room, so this was a very quick and recent decision. I am heartbroken. Completely heartbroken. However, I know that the Lord is guiding our steps and that this is the best decision (although the hardest) we have had to make in a long time. The past couple of weeks have been spent buying school uniforms, supplies (I mean, do we REALLY need 8 glue sticks & why is there not one single packet of 8x12 construction paper within a 100 mile radius?), lunchboxes and backpacks. So, I haven't been too crafty. I have been trying to wrap by brain around early mornings, and packing lunches, and my babies being away from me 5 days a week, 8 hours a day, and homework, and after school activities that were going to be a welcome addition to our homeschool schedule, but now seem like just one more thing for us "to do" and be away from each other. My only daughter is off to kindergarten. Honestly, I needed a good 3 months to prepare for this one. Oh, and now I am up all night worried about schedules, and meal planning, and when to clean my house, and the responsibilities of my "new job" and when and how that is going to work.

I am smiling, because I refuse to cry. I know that the Lord is in control. I know that he is sovereign, I know that this too shall pass and that we are all going to be fine. Just fine. I know that this season is just that...a season. The kids will love school, my baby will love his preschool, my husband will be gratefull for the much needed help, and I will survive...

just like Gloria...I will survive.

My next project

...doesn't cost a dime...

will change the whole look of the room...

& is something I have been dying to do for a LONG time...